March madness has morphed into Assiduous April. I knew at the onset of March it was going to be busy. And then things happened…..all good things, but it seemed like all I was doing some days was adding to my to-do list instead of actually tackling any items on the list. I also found myself writing things down – I pride myself on not having to write things down. When I write things down, that means I’m overwhelmed, I have too many things going on and I need to slow down. I kept telling myself if I could just get through the month of March, I could get caught up. All of it. The house, other projects that got shoved to the back burners, time with friends, my garden….
Pat took Edie to see his folks last week for her spring break. It was the first time she went somewhere without me on spring break. It’s always been our girl time. But this year, I had too many things outstanding on my to-do list. I just couldn’t do it. I was grateful Pat could take the time. And honestly? It was so nice to be able to just focus on my work without having to be wife & mother. I could sit for hours at a time, uninterrupted without having to go pick anyone up or run a carpool or make anyone dinner or just be aware of anyone else in the house. I lived on a steady diet of my favorite meals – bread & butter, popcorn & apples, with some eggs here & there and a few bags of leftover Easter Candy. (The Cadbury Dark Chocolate version of their Mini-Eggs are seriously amazingly good. I wished I bought more than one bag, but was also glad I’d only bought one as I ate half a bag in one sitting.) I spent some long overdue quality time with Betty. And my friend Bonnie. And I was incredibly productive, writing and photographing most of a special edition of a local weekly to be on newstands next week. My deadline was last Friday, April 5. I thought for sure after I turned that in, I’d have some breathing room. Sure, I’d spend some time catching things up, but then I could take a few days off and play.
It’s not quite turned out that way. Projects continue to land in my lap. It seems that idea of making a living out of just being me is starting to happen – -which is exciting and “sort of pinch me is this really happening?” all at the same time. As Betty said to me today, “You’ve got a career now”. Wait, do I? Two years ago next month, I got laid off and set out to figure out how to make a living without having another ‘real’ job again. I wanted to be able to work when I wanted to, doing things I enjoy. I still don’t have a clear plan, but when someone suggests I try something, I jump into and see how it goes. All of this – the writing, the classes, I’ve stumbled onto all of it. I am blessed that my husband has been supportive of this – the cash flow part has not always been what you might term optimal. Keeping that going while pursuing my passion has required much juggling on both our parts. But he believes in me – he’s been the one telling me for years I should do this. And I finally realized I had the confidence in myself to do this.
So, my house might be a wreck. The garden went in late this year – mostly thanks to the fact that winter just didn’t quite know when to leave. But this life where I do what I want to and what I love, where friends feel free to pop in nightly for a quick drink because they know we’ll be in the front yard hanging out while the kids play soccer in the street – it’s a darn good one. And I’m more than grateful for all of it.