Category: working

This is 54.

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I turned 54 yesterday. Birthdays seem like the perfect time to take stock of your life, for no matter when they fall in the year, they are the start of your personal new year. It’s a time to stop and celebrate being you. Only this year, I didn’t much feel like celebrating me. I’ve spent most of the last year spinning in a mid-life crisis, not at all sure what my place in the world is anymore. I’ve had a huge lapse in my self-confidence, the likes of which I’m pretty sure I haven’t gone through since high school and my teen angst days. It’s unnerving to say the least. It’s not *just* this empty nesting and menopause business that’s had me spinning, although they are both still factors. It’s been three years since Edie girl went off to college. You’d think I’d have figured out by now what I want to do with myself now that I don’t have to focus on being a mom all the time and yet here I am.

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My latest reinvention.

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It’s been over a year since we started empty nesting. I have spent the better part of that year resisting the urge to ‘blow it all up’ – I’m not really even sure what I mean by that to be honest. It just seemed that if menopause was going to kick into high gear as our one and only child went off to college, shifting the dynamic of everything at home, in the midst of a global pandemic that
has reshuffled numerous norms in the world, why not change as many things as I possibly could?

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Jumping off a cliff and landing on my feet.

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I quit my job last month without a plan. In the time since, there have been some changes, with a number of realizations and some self discovery along the way.

Last March, I had four, no five jobs, three email accounts, too many social media accounts to keep track of, worked at least several hours every day, seven days a week. I was almost never not working and I definitely wasn’t making enough money to justify all the work.

And then Covid shut everything down.

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Invisibility.

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I watched the new Taylor Swift movie, Miss Americana, with my girl recently. I admittedly am not really a fan, but my girl is, so under the guise of quality time, I agreed to watch it with her.  Not only did I walk away with a new-found respect for Miss Swift, I found some of what she had to say resonating with me, specifically, her perceived view that women in entertainment have to reinvent themselves regularly to stay relevant.  As someone who has reinvented herself a few times over, I’d say that experience isn’t relegated to women in entertainment, I’d argue it’s something all of us as women either have or will go through at some point in our lives.

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The Pink Notebook

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Ten years ago this month, I started this blog. It was more of an experiment to see if I could keep my creative mojo around after one of my more rather alarming dry spells than anything else. The idea was that I’d make it a record of things I made, but somehow, keeping the record became yet another creative outlet for me.

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Tuesday Jam

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Tuesday afternoons, I lead an after school cooking program at a county middle school for PB&J Fund in conjunction with the local Boys & Girls Club.  It’s my second semester doing this and I really enjoy it.  All I have to do is show up and teach the kids – PB&J fund does all the lesson planning and ingredient shopping and I swing by their kitchen on Market Street Tuesday afternoons on my way home from my day job to pick up whatever is needed for the day’s class. Continue reading →