I refuse to live in that sort of neighborhood.

I live in the sort of neighborhood where we leave doors open all the time, especially the back screen door. The kitchen door pretty much only gets closed and locked when we go out of town.  It’s that kind of neighborhood. Or was, until yesterday.

(Click on the photo for a larger view of our unwanted guest.)
The squirrels that I spent most of last summer complaining about because they ate everything in my garden, a dozen plants worth of green tomatoes plus every last peach on the peach tree, leaving me exactly none last summer, have now chewed through the back screen door and as I discovered yesterday, are now entering our house and helping themselves to whatever they can find in my kitchen when we aren’t looking.  I came home from the pool yesterday to find jars of dried fruit scattered on the floor and two packs of buns nibbled through.  Needless to say, it’s ON.
Pat set the hav-a-heart trap
immediately as I walked around ranting about how the squirrels must GO and this morning I discovered we caught a raccoon.  Seems there’s endless wildlife feasting around our urban homestead. I guess I should be happy the raccoon didn’t enter through the ‘wildlife door’ because it might not be able to let itself back out the way the squirrels seem to have figured out and I don’t want to deal with a raccoon in my kitchen.
We still have some peaches left on the tree (it’s a late ripening variety, so they aren’t anywhere near ready to be picked) and there are plenty of tomatoes left on the vine, although while weeding yesterday I found 4 green ones that had been picked for me and something ate the first two ripe ones.  I don’t mind sharing a little bit of food with our neighbors, no matter what persuasion they are, but this breaking & entering has gone too far.  I’m taking the neighborhood and my house, back from the squirrels, because dammit, I like living in a world where I can leave my back door open all the time.  It’s a good world to live in.

8 thoughts on “I refuse to live in that sort of neighborhood.

  1. Lesa says:

    So funny, from the outside!!! Be thankful your culprit wasn't the recent intruder over at Mom's…a Little Spotted Skunk and, despite “Little” in the name, there's nothing small about its smell! And Husband was “skunked” by another one just last weekend when he was taking the trash to our garbage compound. (We've had skunks, 'possums, snakes, a bear and even a Florida panther look for a meal in our trash cans, so we're para-military in our trash compound fencing.) A skunk had managed to get inside an empty can but couldn't get out until Husband, being a kindly sort, tipped the can. The skunk didn't understand the altruism of his gesture. Husband's clothes had to be aired on the clothesline for days! Now, when we notice a little visitor, we take the garbage can in the back of the truck to the park and dump out the critters (two so far)sans trash, of course. Good luck with your furry friends

  2. Kyoo says:

    I grew up in a house where the doors were always open or unlocked and I miss it! That squirrel picture is hilarious and it's giving me all these Over The Hedge scene flashbacks. I probably wouldn't be laughing about it yet if I were you but the thought of you combating the squirrels made me laugh. Get 'em!

  3. vikki says:

    holy CRAP! i have lamented our lack of a screen door since we bought this house….not anymore! and those have-a-heart traps….i used one in our old house to catch mice, and didn't catch any…until i did, but by then i'd stopped checking. it was a cold, heartless death those little endured.

    when we moved to virginia we lived in lexington, and one of my friends called me one evening to say that her neighbor had come home to find a raccoon in the kitchen–and SHOT IT. IN HER KITCHEN. i felt like we had moved from the civilization of cleveland, OH to the wild fucking west.

  4. Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) says:

    The fact that squirrels can chew through metal screening just shows that they are evil machines that should die. Years ago, back at our old house, they chewed through our screened porch and got into birdseed. We repaired the screen and put the seed into a Rubbermaid container, but they kept getting in at the same spot and were making inroads with the R'maid. We ended up moving the seed inside and temporarily covering the hole in the screen with wood until the Evil Furry Eating Machines stopped trying to break in.

    That said, I'd still take a squirrel any day over possums. One got stuck in my brother's mudroom and getting that out was a bit of a nightmare.

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