May is a month in which possibilities seem almost endless. Spring has fully sprung and summer lies just beyond, with it’s warm weather and long lazy days. I still think there’s time to plant all sorts of things in the yard, to start new projects that will carry us through the summer. May is when we got married, it’s when we discovered we were having a baby.
May is a month in which the fleetingness of life comes home. We find ourselves trying to help baby robins that have fallen out of the nest too early. We start realizing we have overbooked parts of our summer. I lost my father and my best friend in the month of May, both way too early.
May is the month where I have had the most life changing events of my life happen to me. I get anxious about what the month has in store every year. I think it’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older and gotten closer to the age my father was when he passed away. My father’s passing caused my family to implode, which Mother’s Day, also in May, helps to send that message home. Becoming a mother myself has done much for me to realize that my mother treated me the way she did not because I was a bad person, but because she’s not in her right mind. You simply cannot wrap a rational mind around behavior that isn’t rational. Becoming a mother myself brought about the definite end of my relationship with my mother, as well as bringing healing to some of the wounds she inflicted.
May is an emotional roller coaster for me every year. And it’s here again.