Denial is the name of the creek running through my back yard.
12 years ago when we moved to this neighborhood, I wondered if I could ever be friends with the women that lived around me. Back then, I couldn’t imagine what a difference motherhood makes. When Edie was born, I found myself at the park, every afternoon, no matter what, and I seemed to always be there with the same group of neighborhood women, who were also there with their kids, everyday, no matter what, because you just had to get those kids out of the house. Those women have over the years become my dearest friends, my motherhood mentors, my support group, my family. Betty, in particular, who lives just 2 doors down. When her son, 3 years older than Edie, started school, we’d see her walking to the bus stop to wait for the bus every afternoon. At some point in Ben’s kindergarten year, it became a thing for us to walk out and wait with Betty, so that for years before Edie started school, the highlight of our day was sometimes sitting and waiting for Ben to get home from school. Maybe because that was when all the neighborhood kids would gather at the park. But it was also our daily check in with Betty. In time, Edie got on the bus with Ben, and then it was just me & Betty waiting for the bus. And then Ben moved up to the Upper Elementary school, but we’d still pass each other in the flurry of the morning, Edie off to the bus stop, Ben off to school up the street…. and Betty and I would still end up having coffee together at least one morning a week. And maybe lunch one day, happy hour another….We spend holidays and birthdays together, we can together, how many times I’ve helped her rearrange her house, I can’t count. She is a big part of my everyday world. When I have news to share, I generally pop over there first, especially if Pat’s away or out of cell phone range, as has been known to happen. When I need a dash of this or that, I run down to her house and vice versa. She is my friend, my neighbor, my family, and a big part of my everyday world.
And she is moving to New York City.
I’ve known this day was coming. She announced the news when we came back from our big June roadtrip. She had been chattering about it for some time as a possibility, but of course, as I do when I don’t really want to deal with something, I pretty much tuned it out. She said it would happen at the end of summer, that it’s just for a year or two, she’s keeping her house here, and going to return often. She’ll still have work here and it won’t be that different. Except that I won’t see her every day, won’t have coffee with her, won’t be having afternoon tea with her on a regular basis, won’t her have her popping in to borrow a can of black beans….it will be different. My reasons for not wanting her to go are all about me, all about the hole her leaving is going to create in MY world, which in my mind, is making it all about me. And since that is something my mother does, and a behavior I desperately want to not follow, I have pretty much kept mum about her upcoming move. I have tried to be supportive and whenever anyone asks how I feel about this (which has come up with pretty much everyone when they hear the news), I just smile and say I’m just trying to be supportive. Of course, I’m also known to deny things are happening until they actually happen – and yes, I’ve done that with this move. But then, in quite alot of ways, I’ve done that with my entire summer. I told myself and everyone around me, I’d have figured out my job thing by the time school started. That I had all summer to figure out what I wanted to do and how I was going to do it. That I was just going to relax and enjoy the summer.
School starts tomorrow. And Betty came down this morning to tell me she’s leaving today. This afternoon.
My world is going to be vastly different come tomorrow morning. These lazy days of sleeping in, of taking my time at getting things done, of throwing something together for dinner at any hour, of wandering down to Betty’s for a quick cocktail……done. At least for the time being. I can’t wrap my head around it, nor do I want to until I have to face it. Which is what I do. And it always seems to work out for me. I’ve known for some time reality is going to kick in tomorrow and I realize it’s going to kick in HARD. Thankfully, I’m pretty sure everyone around me knows it’s going to be hard, so I’m going to hope that my little bubble continues to somehow protect and insulate me. Or is that just part of my ongoing denial? Either way, tomorrow will bring a brand new day with plenty of changes. At least I know this going into it. And I also know, that no matter what, I will adjust and get used to it and face it head on. In the meantime, I’m going to continue to enjoy today for what it is. I’m headed to the pool, we’ve got a host of friends meeting us there, and I’m going to watch a gaggle of girls have one last afternoon of pool time, until it’s time to head home and whip up dinner and then, reality will slowly start to hit us, as I’ll have to have a real dinner on the table at a decent hour and have Edie in bed at a decent hour, because we will have to be up at what right now seems like an ungodly hour of 7 am in order to catch that big yellow angel.
Ugh.
Pickled.
I had quite the simple plan for Saturday – get up early, hit market, buy up a bunch of green beans and head home to pickle them. Only by the time we got to market at 8:30 Saturday morning, I was hard pressed to find any green beans. It’s August. I know they are in season and if I had only listened to my husband and planted pole beans like I usually do, I wouldn’t be in this predicament. Oh well, next year. This year, since I’m already buying tomatoes from local farmers for canning (yes, I’m complaining about the squirrels yet again, although to their credit, they have seriously chilled out, which may or may not be related the food I’ve been throwing at them out the back door they keep attacking), it wasn’t that much of a step to buy green beans for pickles. And I’ve had a number of requests for them this year.
At any rate, Double H farm came through with the beans and so I gladly headed home to hunker down to spend my weekend pickling and recovering from pickling by the pool.
When I took the class where I learned to can, we sampled these green bean pickles and the recipe came in the packet we took home from the class. I liked them and since then, have made them almost every year, generally about the point where we can’t give green beans away anymore and we’re pretty tired of eating them ourselves. Not that we eat alot of the pickled beans, but we know plenty of folks that love them and will stand there and eat the whole jar within minutes of opening it. Last year, I experimented with Leni’s lemon basil in the beans and the response was overwhelming that I should ONLY use that basil in them. So I planted my own this year. Definitely put it your list of plants to consider for next summer’s garden. As someone who is very conscious of where all our food comes from, I love the citrus zest this plant adds to any dish and that it keeps it very local indeed. I especially love it in my homemade tartar sauce. And in Caprese salad? Seriously, seriously divine.
I put up 14 jars of pickled green beans on Saturday and after soaking all night Saturday (in a punchbowl I decided could do double duty instead of buying myself a new glass mixing bowl and saving myself some cash), and simmering all day Sunday, I yielded 13 jars of watermelon rind pickles. The weather cooperated for pool time on Saturday, but Sunday, as I loaded the car with a gaggle of neighborhood girls, we heard the rumble of thunder and of course raindrops started falling…. which meant I ended up with a squealing basement full of little girls, their sisters and their cousins until dinner last night. And the power didn’t go out with this rain, which is something slightly unheard of around here. Although I’m pretty sure the gaggle of girls would have had a great time anyway.
Last year I posted my watermelon rind pickle recipe and this year I thought I’d share my green bean pickle recipe. I know the original recipe was in an unnamed magazine article by Andrea Chesman, dated 1996. I’m not sure if this recipe was in any of her cookbooks or not. She suggests using tarragon or dill instead of basil as well. I suggest lemon basil.
(Mis)Adventures in Gardening, August Edition
My peppers have done well though. That red one is my first pimento pepper, not quite ready to pick. I think another day and it will be fully red and ready. I have visions of making pimento cheese with my own peppers this year. (I’m a cow away from making it completely homemade!). My tomatillo plants are hearty and starting to fruit up nicely. The brussel sprouts I planted last spring that I thought would just be a spring crop (turns out they can go for a loooonnnnnggg time) are looking good. Good to the point where Edie is talking about how good they are going to be roasted. I still have some chard and some kale that have weathered the heat beautifully. The new sage & thyme plants I planted this year have taken off. The fennel I planted is doing nicely too. And bonus, I discovered a volunteer golden cherry tomatillo (also known as a pineapple tomatillo) plant! I harvested some seeds from some last summer and while they sprouted up, they never did anything this year. I was quite pleased to find it, as we really enjoyed them last year and were bummed to think we wouldn’t get them. They were a most pleasant surprise.
While my kitchen counters haven’t been overcome by my tomatoes, I have been lucky enough to have generous friends share their bounty, so that we have still been able to eat homegrown tomato sandwiches for as many meals a day as we care to. Thankfully, tomato plants have growing season, and the blooms I saw a few weeks ago are now green tomatoes that are weighing down my plants again. And I got to pick a red one yesterday!!! A very small grape one, but, a red one nonetheless. Perhaps the battle has turned in my favor? One can only hope…..
Home again.
Gumbo!
Of Tomatoes.
Granny had a point.
My Granny was not what you would call a sweet old lady. She drank, she smoked, she cursed like a sailor. She had a number of phrases that her grandchildren recall, most of which are quite savory, like where exactly to look for sympathy. (In the dictionary….between, well, two not so polite words.).
When my Aunt Loretta was 8 and a half months pregnant with who would be my cousin John, she ran to the grocery store. As it was July and she was incredibly pregnant, she wore what had to have been the most comfortable shoes – flip flops. Walking in her front door, she tripped and fell and shattered her ankle, landing her in a cast from her toes to her hip. In July. Did I mention she was pregnant as well? My not quite 12 year old self was shipped down to help her until at least the baby was born. This was when I learned to make coffee and heard my grandmother, on an almost daily basis, rant about the dangers of flip flops. She had never been a fan, but now, clearly, we could all see they were life threatening.
Of course I haven’t heeded her warnings over the years and yes, I’ve had some flip flop incidents. I have a tendency to get plantar fasciitis thanks to my ridiculously high arches and my complete hatred of wearing shoes during the warmer months. For the last 3 months, I have worn nothing but flip flops (except of course when at the gym.). I know better and now that my foot is really bothering me, going all the way up to my bad knee and I’m having to wear good supportive shoes ALL THE TIME in this ridiculously hot weather when really all I should be wearing is flip flops, I can hear my Granny telling me I should know better. Yes, I should. I do. Still doesn’t mean I listen to her.
Granny was right. Flip flops are dangerous.
So pleased with myself.
I love this fabric – a floral paisley? Yes please. I had a pair of pants in high school out of a similar fabric that I adored, so I was really sort of excited about a new pair out of this fabric. The duvet cover is pretty big – I think it’s a queen or a king, so I have alot more fabric to perfect my pattern. They are as comfortable as I thought they would be. I started and finished something in an afternoon – not such a rarity for me these days anymore I’m proud to say. And, I successfully made my own pattern. Yes, I need to tweak it, but it fit! I’ve not always had such successes with sewing without a pattern. Hell, I’m not always successful with a pattern. But that’s another story….
Sleepaway camp.
Sunday, we dropped Edie off at camp. She fought the idea of 3 weeks away at camp at first. Admittedly, I had my reservations too. Although I tried not to let her know that. I knew it would be good for her. I knew it would be good for me. It’s been a big subject of conversation around here. Uncle Kevin told her that he got sent to camp when he was her age and he was terrified, and then, about 2 hours after his parents left, he realized it was the best thing they’d ever done for him. She heard a few stories like that. She seemed to warm up to the idea. She at least stopped bursting into tears at the mention of camp.
We’ve heard about this camp as long as we’ve known Will Smiley. He went there every summer starting about the time he had been Edie’s age. And then he worked there for another 10 years or so after he was too old to be a camper anymore. It was a formative experience in his life and he really wanted to share it with our girl. I’ve said here before that Will & Mollie are the sort of friends you consider family, no matter how often you see them. Not only did Will want to share camp with Edie, he helped make it happen. And then, to help ease mama into not having her gal around for 3 weeks, insisted we come visit with them at Granny’s cabin at Smith Mountain Lake.
That’s the view from the dock. We showed up and Will had the boat ready and waiting for us. Breakfast, lunch and dinners were made without me having to do a thing. We had a few lovely days of just doing nothing but playing. It was divine. Will kept us up to date on what Edie was doing at that very moment, since he knows the schedule there inside and out. (Sixteen summers at camp will do that to you.) Abigail talked about how she thinks Edie is so lucky to be old enough to go to camp and she cannot wait until she’s old enough to go with her in 2 years.
A friend had asked if we could dog sit this week, so when we came home from the lake, we came home to a dear old, stubborn dog eager to see us. I miss my girl, but I’m so very grateful to our friends who have all stepped up to help ease me over this transition. I know she is having a great time – as we drove out of camp on Sunday, we saw her bopping down the hill with one of her cabin counselors, taking her allergy meds to the office, and I could tell, she was already settled in. When we dropped her off and I made her bed, there as a little girl her age in the bottom bunk next to her, with that “We are going to be friends” look on her face as she looked at Edie. You know that look. She had a Harry Potter book under her bed, so I’m pretty sure they will be.
I’ve been asked numerous times, what am I going to do while she’s away? I have alot of uninterrupted time on my hands, time where I don’t have to worry about dropping what I’m doing to go pick her up or go take her to do this or that. I intend to work on my business plan. I want to do some serious house cleaning and purging, including the princess lair, while she’s away. (She actually left me a list of helpful ‘cleaning options’.) There is the chicken house project, a few sewing projects to wrap up, some canning to be done, and most importantly, lots of quality time with my husband….
I think I’ll be okay. After all, it’s only three weeks.


















