The Best Holiday.

I know I say this about every holiday, but Halloween really is the best night of the year.  The flurry of costume construction in the days before, the actual day, where the children are far too keyed up to do anything but talk about how much candy they are going to consume and then, finally, FINALLY, they are let loose to roam the streets, going to door, with the universal language of lights on, someone’s home and all you have to do is knock on the door and they will give you candy.  The air is filled with fun and the sense of community.  Parents wandering with a red solo cup in hand, looking after a group of kids that got just a little bit ahead of them while they stopped to chat.  Or refill as the case may be. Continue reading

Well I’ll be.

The thing about birthdays is that everyone you encounter that day that either knows or hears it’s your birthday wants to shower you with good wishes and treats.  Having a weekend birthday coupled with your husband being gone makes for an entire weekend of flat out spoiling by almost everyone in your path, especially when they hear your husband is gone for the weekend.  Turns out your husband having an immovable work trip scheduled on your birthday is actually a key to weekend full of celebration.

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Seasonal treats.

While I might have a reputation about being extremely uptight about knowing exactly where our food comes from, I also have a fondness for what a friend once called ‘food that isn’t really food’.  Everything in moderation, including moderation.  You see, I have a weak spot for things like twizzlers, corn nuts and that seasonal treat of pure sugar known as candy corn. Continue reading

The time I fell off the roof.

I like to tell the story of why Valentine’s Day is special to us – how it was the day that prompted Pat to call, leaving me a message even though I was out of town, so we really sort of consider the day the start of us.  We’ve also told the story of how we met when I fell off the roof at a party which leaves some wondering, how did we go from me falling off the roof to him leaving me a message on my answering machine on Valentine’s day?

One of my favorite things about Auburn during my time there in the late 80’s and early 90’s was that were like 3 bars in the entire town.  It wasn’t that there weren’t things to do – there were plenty of things to do – it was just all at someone’s house. Far cozier (and cheaper) than a bar. My second year there, I lived in a great big old house near campus with a yard and a large screened in front porch – perfect for parties no matter the weather.  I think we threw parties there just about every weekend that year.  I was friends with a few guys in bands, so the idea came about that we should have band parties.  Band parties were a great thing in those days – they’d set up a stage in someone’s back yard (or house), access to the yard would be restricted to one entrance, you’d pay a cover, bring your own beer or maybe pitch in for a keg and it was a party. My not quite (there was a house between ours, but it was set far back from the road and ours were quite close to the street, so at first glance, our houses appeared to be adjacent) next door neighbor, Stuart E, had some legendary band parties that year, including the time Green Day played in his kitchen.  I remember seeing them on Behind the Music talking about the time they played in someone’s kitchen and remembering fondly that the keg for that show was at my house. (Stuart & I would plan parties so that if one of us had a band, the other would have a keg.  It was inevitable, if one of us had a party, the other one would end up with a spillover party.  I’ve been blessed with great neighbors throughout my life, but Stuart E was hands down, one of the best. I miss that guy.)  At some point though, the town council instituted an noise ordinance that basically said only frat houses could get away with having outdoor band parties.  By that point, I was living in a different house – a smaller one not quite so conducive to huge parties every weekend.  I also had roommates that were not on board with them – although they still happened occasionally.  You can take the girl out of the party, but you can’t take the party out of the girl….

Anyway, I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but someone noticed one day that my house, with a vacant lot next to it, was a little more than a block in either direction from two different frat houses – and the sounds of their outdoor band parties.  It was suggested that we try throwing an old school back yard band party – I think someone even managed to make sure it was the same evening as a party at one of the houses, with the idea that only our closest neighbors (of which, one was a religious center that no one lived at) would know the difference.  It was a  brilliant idea – although I do remember that we had bail money as part of the deal should it get busted by the authorities.  Turns out, we didn’t need it – the plan worked and it was a good party.  It was the last big band party of my college career, one last free-for-all in a long line of free-for-alls.

The house had a detached garage in the back.  The stage was set up along the side of the garage.  I couldn’t help but notice there were a few folks sitting on the roof peak of the garage and good hostess that I was, I decided I should go up there to mingle and see if those guests were having a good time.  A good hostess always greets all of her guests, yes?

It was pretty easy to hop up on the chain link fence separating my house and the building next door and launch myself onto the roof from there.   I sat up on the ridge, took in some of the band, talked to two gents before deciding I needed to head back down to the rest of the party.  As I sat on the lowest edge of the roof, I grabbed a tree branch from the neighbor’s yard, put one foot on the edge of the fence and as I was placing the other foot on what I thought was the fence, I proceeded to hop down.  Only the other foot missed the fence and I somehow landed tangled up in the tree in the back yard of the building next door.  Thankfully, my dear friend Pat Shaw witnessed this and came to my rescue, fishing me out of the tree and bringing me back to the ground.

A year later, I was hanging out with my Pat and he asked if I remembered falling off the roof.  I did I answered, telling him about the bruise that covered the top half of my left arm for weeks on end as a result and how did he know about that?  Turns out he was one of the boys I was talking to just before I slid down the roof. (He actually tells a great version of what it was like to hear the fall.)

It wasn’t the first conversation we’d had – that one took place a few years before that when he came in to pick up a pie from the pizza shop I worked at and I asked him and his buddy if they knew of any parties that night. But it was the longest conversation we’d had up to that point.  Up on my garage roof at the very last free-for-all band party of my college career.

He really did know what he was getting into.  Nineteen years and counting later, he’s still here and not at all surprised when I do things like fall off roofs or throw a party for our closest 300 friends.

So while some might dismiss Valentine’s day as an excuse to push cards, flowers and candy, what I love about it is that it made a boy think to call a girl who fell off a roof.

Valentine’s treats that are so easy you almost can’t stand it.

I love Valentine’s Day.  Not that I love the commercialization of  it – I hate the commercialization of everything.  But as I like to blog here every year, Valentine’s Day marks the start of this family and so therefore, it must be noted in some fashion.  Nothing big and splashy of course – just a wee something.  Keeping with my love of handmade gifts, I started making these treats for my valentines a few years ago.   They are quick, easy and yummy – my holy trinity.
The original recipe came from a post on Design*Sponge, but I’ve altered it over the years to be the one I’m about to share with you, so I’m not linking to the original.  If you can melt chocolate, you can make these.  They are that easy.
A few notes – I use good dark chocolate and natural peanut butter.  The original recipe calls for crushed graham crackers and salt to be added to the peanut butter mix, but I find it’s not necessary.  I make them in mini-muffin tins, as I find a full size muffin tin peanut butter cup to be a little too much.
Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups
2 bars (4 oz each) good chocolate 
3/4 cup peanut butter
3/8 cup powdered sugar, sifted
Melt a bar of chocolate in a double boiler (or use the microwave method of melting chocolate which means putting your chocolate in a bowl, letting it go for 30 seconds, stir and if needed, pop back in for another 15-30 seconds.)
Using a spoon, spread melted chocolate on the bottom and sides of paper muffin liners.  Coat them generously – this is the bottom and sides of your candies.  
Chill in fridge for 10-20 minutes or until hardened.
Combine peanut butter with sugar.  Melt remaining chocolate.
Place peanut butter in each muffin cup.  I like to spread it out a bit with the back of a spoon.  Dollop melted chocolate on top of the peanut butter, using a spoon to smooth out the tops.  Refrigerate for about a half hour or until fully hardened.
Sometimes I get jiggy with it and sprinkle sea salt on top.  Today I used bamboo salt. Because it was the first jar I grabbed when I opened the spice cabinet, that’s why. 

This is what is left to clean up.  If you can melt chocolate, you can make these.  And your valentines will thank you for them.
Yield:  24 mini muffin size peanut butter cups

January is anything but boring around here.


A hawk got itself trapped in the chicken coop this weekend.  The girls were out eating bugs in the yard, so there was no harm done really. And I got some close up shots of a hawk.

Edie’s birthday meant a dinner/slumber party for more girls than our house can reasonably hold. And there were still some friends she wanted to invite that I put the kibosh on because well, our house is only so big. 

Our dining room is almost the exact same length as our table with 2 leaves in it. The chair at the head of the table is actually in the hallway. And you can’t pull out the chair at the foot.

When inviting 8 girls, it helps to include your daughter in the final head count, which is actually 9.

There is a high pitched roar when you have 9 girls in your house.  It stops for exactly 10 seconds when they eat.

How can they eat and talk at the same time?

When a cake recipe says it’s perfect served with milk, that means 9 eleven year old girls will drink an entire gallon of milk with the cake.

9 girls at a slumber party don’t sleep.  Neither do you really.

11 year old girls are more than happy to have Martha’s Moist Devil’s Food Cake for breakfast too.  I used some strawberry jam as filler in between the layers, so therefore, it counted as a fruit serving.  Or so I told them. I also told them they had to eat that entire cake so that I could bake another one for Pat’s birthday the next day. 

One can only have so much cake lying around.

I love how good Pat looks in his sweater.

Peach Pound Cake also makes an excellent breakfast.

Edie managed to find a way to upstage Pat on his birthday, two days after hers, yet again. It’s always something, starting with when she was born and came home from the hospital on his birthday.  This year it was strep throat.  So while we didn’t get a date night like I’d hoped, we still managed to find some time to celebrate.  And I made him a fantastic dinner – Lamb Curry from my More with Less cookbook and a peach pound cake, with the lamb coming from our friends the Roystons, no doubt some lamb that a member of our family helped bottle feed at some point, or at least we imagine so.  We’ve bottle fed a number of lambs at their farm over the years.  And enjoyed eating them.

And with that, our holiday season that started with my birthday in October just before Halloween, is over.  I am not baking another cake until at least March, so help me.

In with the new.

Another holiday season has come and gone, a new year has been rung in and I’ve managed to survive them relatively unscathed.  You can’t seem to escape the idea that you are supposed to be around family for the holidays – even with the admittance that everyone does not have the picture perfect family scenes that seem to dominate in the songs and images of the season.  For someone like me, who a few years ago realized that my own family was in fact so toxic that it simply wasn’t healthy for me, there are landmines all over the holiday landscape.  This year I came to realization that I do a bit of grieving for my family around the holidays, which is no doubt normal and to be expected and honestly, that realization made it easier for me to accept the time I spent in my own head about it, while also not allowing me to wallow.  In other words, there were moments that were hard, but I managed to name them for what they were and move on.  It felt like progress. After all, isn’t admitting there’s a problem the biggest step in solving it?
The three of us spent the week between Christmas and New Years lounging around the house, eating leftovers and having movie watching marathons.  There was some serious progress made on projects that require me to just sit for a spell, like Pat’s sweater and another project I started with the intent of surprising my husband with for Christmas only to realize it was far more work than I had anticipated. Isn’t that always the case?  
It was all quite lovely and much appreciated, that week where we just slowed down, not always answering the phone or turning on the computer, just lots of sleeping in, hot tea and cocoa, waking up to some sort of winter precipitation every other day.  At one point though, Edie did get a bit bored with us, which then found me apologizing to her that no one was available to play because they were all doing family things with their extended family and that we weren’t seeing extended family, this sitting around and just chilling, this is what our family does after the holiday while everyone else sees their grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins.  Which of course, was starting to go down that little path in my head where I start to feel sorry for myself, where I wonder if making that break from my own family of origin was really so right for all of us, when that dear sweet child pulled me back off the edge of the cliff, reminding me that we were indeed seeing family this holiday season, because weren’t the Smileys coming for New Years and aren’t they family?
Why yes my dear, they are.  And just like that, I realized yet again how grateful I am for the friends and neighbors that surround us with love, that are in fact, our family in so many ways.  And so we rang in the new year with what we like to call our “Virginia Cousins”.
One of the things I love the most about visiting with the Smileys is cooking with Mollie – there’s no real menu planning for our visits, you just bring what you have on hand and see what happens.  Edie & Abigail still have more definite ideas about what they want to cook together, but watching them cook together?   Such a happy thing. 
Of course, after making their one bowl of guacamole, they were quite content to let us do the rest of the cooking.  This is what my kitchen counter looked like New Years Day early evening.
Which, minus Granny’s crystal champagne glass, is about what any kitchen counter looks like when Mollie and I are together.  Keeping 4 kids, 2 husbands, a dog and ourselves fed is a nonstop process.  It doesn’t hurt that we both love to bake together.  
This is where my stacking baking racks really came in handy.  On the bottom layer are mincemeat tarts, baked in mini-muffin tins, while the top rack is a dairy free cookie Mollie whipped up using chick peas, peanut butter and dark chocolate chips.  Both were delish.  And on a sidenote, I want to add that using southern biscuit flour in your pie crust instead of regular all purpose flour yields the flakiest crust I’ve ever made.  For reals.
And when Mollie finishes tweaking that cookie recipe and sends it along, I’ll share.  Promise.
Their visit was a nice extension of our cozy, lazy week, with the exception of Owen’s constant calling for someone to please play Twister with him, which the girls were quite good about, for the most part.  Then again, it’s hard to say no to someone who would take it upon himself to move all the furniture out of the way and set up the game by himself. Owen is really good at moving tables.
This, with the kids fussing at each other, the baby crying, the dog barking,  the new year rung in with everyone still awake piled in our bed, the husbands deciding to head out to a bar to watch a football game together New Years Day while Mollie and I make breakfast, lunch and then dinner in our PJ’s while sipping champagne from family heirloom glasses that don’t get used nearly enough,  this is the sort of family gathering all those holiday images talk about I think.  Where Owen torments Edie to the verge of tears, to have me comfort her telling her this is what it’s like to have a brother while Abigail pipes in with full agreement to that experience. Where Edie decides to have her own little revenge on the candy cane eating monster known as Owen by rearranging all the candy canes on the Christmas tree just out of his reach, so that he thinks he’s eaten all he can reach by himself.  Where the look on her face when I asked her if she had moved the candy in question was priceless.  If that’s what makes family, well then, that’s exactly what they are.
And nothing sends that fact home more than the only picture that was taken over 3 days where all four kids made it into the shot.
Happy 2013.