Found.

Saturday afternoon as I was standing in my friend Rieman’s kitchen, I looked out and realized there was a great photo opp sitting there.
Despite the fact that it was snowing and cold, there was something beautiful about the day.  I actually woke up the other night at 2 am  mourning my MIA creativity and wondered how was I going to go about getting it back. For someone who’s goal in life to is to live creativity, this was troubling.  
I understand these things have an ebb & flow, but the last few weeks have completely and totally sucked it out of me.
I was really hoping that after the holidays, we’d get into some sort of groove again.  You see, since before Halloween, someone in this house has been sick.  That’s also about the last time Edie had a full week of school.
Holidays, sick days, snow days have all had a turn as to being the reason why she’s home from school.  This past week, she had a holiday, was ill with strep throat, had a snow day and then, when she finally went to school on Friday, was dismissed early. 
Part of why I do what I do – attempt to live life creatively, free lancing my way through life, juggling multiple projects, is so that I have the freedom to take off when she is sick.  Or on school holiday.  Or has a snow day.
I just didn’t think they’d all occur the same week. 
Over the last 10 days, thanks to all of it, she’s had exactly one half day of school.
She’s alternated between velcrobaby moments, where she wanted me nearby, holding her and moments where it would absolutely kill her to be nice to me, thank you very much.  At 11, she is starting to get very close to those teen years.  I remembered today that she started practicing her terrible two’s the day after her first birthday and it wasn’t the terrible two’s, they were just a warm up for the truly terrible three, which was promptly followed by four, which starts with F for a reason.  If it’s true that the toddler years are a glimpse into what the teen years hold, then we are screwed. 
And if she started practicing being two the day after her first birthday, then it would make sense she’s doing the exact same thing this time around.  After all, she’s been 11 for a week now.  Time to get cracking on that teen angst.
All of this regrouping and last minute changes mean that I have to had to regroup every week for months.  And this last week, this week of no school, well, it’s about done me in.  I’ve had some great ideas of projects I have been wanting to pursue, that keep getting pushed to the back burner because life keeps popping up.  And popping up.  And popping up some more.
On one hand, I’m grateful that I have the flexibility to scrap everything at the last minute.  On the other hand, scrapping everything at the last minute for months on end has had a disastrous effect on my creativity, productivity and inspiration. Among other things.
So feeling inspired yesterday to wander about the farm and take some shots?
It felt good to get those creative juices again, knowing they were there.  It felt good to be able to work on something without being interrupted, without having to stop and fix anyone a snack or water bottle or dinner.  It was nice not having to ask anyone to please keep it down, please can you not see I’m working or have anyone (everyone) sit in the same room as me and talk at me as I attempt to get something done.
The camera I have is a point and shoot- and while I’ve gotten quite good at manipulating it to take some great shots from time to time, it’s a point and shoot.  It’s not capable of doing some of the things I want it to do, that I know a nicer camera would do.  It doesn’t do well with low light at all.
But the black and white setting is quite forgiving.  Especially on a grey, snowy January day.
When I happened to find my creativity hidden amongst skulls on a picnic table in the snow.

4 thoughts on “Found.

  1. Lesa says:

    Lately I've felt like a little cartoon figure, one who pulls her lip, making a “blub, blub, blub” sound? Well, perhaps that's not it exactly, but you know. With everything going on around here, I'm simply standing by, which means I'm doing nothing creative. I understand exactly what you mean and I'm so glad you picked up your camera. Love the cow, yeah, she's posing!

  2. Cassi Renee says:

    This is such the lament of parenting, I think. Obviously, parenting has its joys (or we'd just kill the little buggers), but living with never a moment to yourself is very wearing. Thank god for school, and I hope she has some soon!

    I love the photos 🙂

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